Do you need to take a “chill pill”?
All too often we get caught up in the hectic nature of our modern lives. We forget that life is a “process”. It’s a “never-ending story” .
BTW – have you seen that delightful movie of the same name? The Never Ending Story is the story of a young boy who escapes into a wondrous fantasy world through the pages of a mysterious book.
Obvious clues include:
– Trying to control people around you. E.g. setting “rules” about what you consider is “appropriate behaviour” (put your clothes away, wash up your mess, put the toilet seat down, don’t turn on the water when I’m having a shower, don’t talk so loud, don’t – don’t – don’t ….) I’m sure you can add lots more examples.
– Trying to “manage” (aka control) events and circumstances around you.
What’s the net effect of such “commands” (disguised as “reasonable requests”)?
The relationship loses out. How so?
Both parties feel constrained in some way. The one “asking” feels sufficiently compelled to voice their annoyance regarding the “undesirable” behaviour and the person getting the “order” – feels a lack of personal freedom.
Is this a good recipe for human interaction?
In my view – no!
Is this a typical type of interaction between people (couples, parents and children, work colleagues)?
Too often – yes.
Let’s look at this from a Law of Attraction (LOA) perspective
What are you “putting out”?
Disguise it as you may – essentially any attempt to get another person to change their behavior to make you feel better – is a criticism or complaint regarding their present “undesirable” (in your eyes) behaviour.
How does LOA “respond”?
It matches our vibration. It matches our dominant thoughts and feelings and brings “more of the same” kind of experience to us.
So in practical terms, how might that work? Will it solve the immediate “problem” of the noisy or messy kid or neighbour? Maybe “yes”. They might agree to “co-operate” with you – to “please you” (to keep the peace).
But what you’re doing is actually amplifying your “discontent” – when you “voice it”. As you focus on the “problem” – what happens? Law of Attraction matches you up with other people and events that augment your “discontent”.
Often your “discontent” is grounded in a sense of “powerlessness” in the first place – that’s why you attempt to control. It’s a “feeble” attempt at improving your situation (how you feel).
So what can you do?
Begin to notice yourself “telling others what to do” – to make you feel better. Pause and take a deep breath. That’s your “chill pill”. Pause. Take a deep breath. Turn your attention to the solution. And if that’s not easy – then change the subject completely – so that at least you ease your own annoyance – rather than augment it.
The best and easiest explanation on the subject of “control” comes from the teachings of Abraham (Esther Hicks).
Watch this clip where Abraham talks about “how to deal with people who treat you badly”.